Jesus Lessons From My Daughter’s Life

I’m convinced that each new stage of life ushers in abundant opportunities to understand the Christian story at even deeper levels.

Marriage certainly took me to school regarding selfless love, commitment, and sacrifice. It’s taught me the virtues of kindness, gentleness, and openness and galvanized the resolve I have for intentionally pursuing a safe and emotionally secure space at home. These are lessons I continue to learn and re-learn (and sometimes re-re-learn).

I’ve learned the good of getting your hands dirty (literally) with the earth during my landscaping days. It was then that I fell in love with caring for the earth and bringing beauty and color to otherwise bleak, empty ground.

It was in the crucible of four jobs, seminary education, marriage, and church responsibilities that I learned the value of capitalizing on time for Kingdom work.

However, the newest stage of my life has afforded me opportunities for making sense of the Christian story in far greater ways than any of the others.

Fatherhood.

It’s the storybook role where you shape and mold a little person, but the truth is they’re actually shaping you.

One recent event proves this point. 

A few days ago, I gave my dear wife the day off. I sent her out the door after Naemi went down for her morning nap and I was determined to pull off the best daddy-daughter day in history. I planned out a super-sweet Chic-fil-a date and some killer playtime – crawling included! I packed up the dad-approved diaper bag and laid out Naemi’s coat and hat. I had previously made sure to transfer the car-seat from the van into the backseat of my car. The veggie puree was in the front pocket of the diaper bag ALONG WITH a spoon (learned my lesson there!).

I was ready.

It was about this time that the little gal woke up.

So I popped upstairs and retrieved her from her crib. I changed her diaper and outfitted her with a clean bib (seriously this chic still drools like a troll).

I started heading downstairs and then I realized that I had spent so much time preparing Naemi’s things that I had forgotten to get myself dressed. Dad’s boxers and a t-shirt were not the best apparel choice for such an epic daddy-daughter date!

I quickly turned around and headed back up the stairs and into the bedroom.

It was at this point that I was faced with a decision:

Option A: Try to continue holding Naemi and figure out a gymnastically unparalleled way to dress myself.

Option B: Set Naemi down for a moment and brace for the impending protest.

I decided to go with Option B.

The aftermath was remarkable. Like clockwork she protested and cried and couldn’t figure out in her little mind why I would ever do such a thing!

It was the next words out of my mouth to her that profoundly impacted me.

I said:

“Don’t be scared. I’m not going to leave you.”

I’m not going to leave you.

I’m not going to leave you.

Words that I spoke in a quick attempt to comfort my little daughter, reflect the same promise of the God revealed in Scripture.

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Heb. 13:5)

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified…for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deut. 31:6)

The Christmas season marks this truth with even more poignancy. Jesus Christ – the Messiah sent from God – is Emmanuel (God with Us). He has forever joined Himself to the human race with deep bonds of love.

Truly He will never leave us.

He has not abandoned us and He will never abandon us.

I wish I could promise such faithfulness to my daughter. I wish I could tell her that I will never fail her. I wish I could tell her that I’ll always be there for her. While that will always remain my goal with her and all the other children God blesses us with, I realize my own frailty and brokenness.

I’ll certainly fail. But I set my eyes on the one who will never leave her and I beseech Him for the grace and strength to care for her as deeply and consistently as I can.

If you’re wondering, the rest of the daddy-daughter date went fairly well. We successfully went to Chic-fil-a. We successfully got back home and had some playtime. We successfully (both!) went down for a nap.

I realize that these moments with Naemi will be few. I won’t be able to hold her darling little body in my arms forever. I won’t be able to sneak daddy-kisses from her forever. I won’t be able to crawl around on the floor with her forever.

BUT….

I will always carry with me the lessons that Jesus is teaching me through her. Truly her short 8.5 month life has helped me know Jesus even better than I did before.

For that I am eternally grateful.  

Representing the Family...

When I was a kid my parents would periodically remind me that I represented the family when I went out in public. My actions were a reflection of what my family was all about. While I like to think that I always did my parents proud, I'm sure there were occasions (only a few of course!) when my behavior failed to represent the values and preferences of a Christ-honoring family. Childhood excitement and teenage angst are respectively quite powerful factors!

Nevertheless, I'm grateful for the lesson that I learned through my childhood years: public behavior should reflect familial values and commitments. 

On a much grander scale, I think we see this same principle play out in the Old Testament. Early on in the book of Deuteronomy as Moses recounts the instructions of Yahweh to Israel, he makes an interesting statement:

"See, I have taught you statues and rules, as the Lord my God commanded me...Keep them and do them, for that will be your wisdom and your understanding in the sight of the peoples, who, when they hear all these statutes, will say, 'Surely this great nation is a wise and understanding people.'" (Deut. 4:5-6)

As it turns out, the Israelite people had both personal and public motivations for following the instructions of Yahweh. Not only would they be life-giving for their community, but they would also serve as an apologetic of sorts to the surrounding nations. The nations couldn't help but recognize that Israel was a "wise and understanding people" who served a righteous and attentive God (Duet. 4:7-8). Ultimately, Israel's actions in the public realm were meant to reflect the nature and attributes of our great God.  

Similarly, Christians of today are instructed to "Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven" (Matt. 5:16). Our actions and attitudes (should!) represent the family we come from. Indeed, our daily life is the stage on which God's "family-values" find their most important expression; not merely in our words, but in our deeds (James 2:26). 

I don't think we should be overly harsh on ourselves when it comes to areas where we don't quite reflect God's character. Just like any naturally adopted child, you would expect it to take time to learn the new family's way of life. The key is to stay committed to the learning curve! 

By God's grace, may we continually learn the ways of God's family to spread his glory to the nations!

Grace and Peace.