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| Photo via www.chatterblock.com |
This is a special day for me: my first father’s day.
I’m starting it off by snuggling with the little one that
has introduced me to the world of fatherhood. She’s currently having the
longest and most enormous wake-up stretch routine that I’ve ever seen.
Gosh she’s cute.
Since starting this journey of parenting 10 weeks ago,
I’ve come to have a whole new level of respect for parents. It’s quite the
task! The joys of parenting (or glimpses of beauty) are certainly there, but
the depths of frustration are certainly present as well.
I’m telling you. Your sinful tendencies are never so
evident as when you’re trying to put a 1 month old back to sleep at 3am and all
she wants to do is scream in your face.
Let me know if you find a solution other than trading
places with the sleeping spouse and hoping they have some hidden reservoir of
kindness. Seriously. Write me.
Judy and I recently read a story about some new parents
that got together for a dinner one evening. As the couples trickled into the
home, one of the dads walked in wearing a t-shirt that said, “Number #4 Dad!”
After the expected amount of joking about the shirt, all the other dads shared
that that is exactly how they felt about their parenting capacities.
They didn’t think they were the worst dad in the world,
but they certainly weren’t the #1 dad. Try as they might, they fell somewhere between
mediocre and alright.
I can totally relate to that. Although, at 3am I’d even be happy to slide
into the 8th or 9th overall dad rating.
But you know what? I think that’s ok.
I’m really grateful for the story of the #4 dad and I’m
grateful for all the men who have opened up to me about their experience as
fathers – both the good and the bad.
I think real fatherhood happens in those mediocre moments
when all you can do is ask for God’s supernatural strength. When your overall
dad-rating is plummeting and you can’t stop it.
That’s real life.
And by golly, I want to live a Dad-in-Real-Life sort of
life; not some trumped up Facebook-ized, idealistic sort of life. I want the
crappy, 3am, end-of-the-rope, (sometimes) gasping for air sort of life.
Why?
Because in those moments, my character is built. When you
have nothing left, where do you turn? Your answer to that will tell a lot about
you.
It’s been said that sloth is not just laziness, but
laziness in regards to love. We want all the benefits of love without fulfilling the obligations of love. As a dad, I’m often tempted towards sloth in
regards to my little one. Sometimes it just feels too difficult to be gentle or
too overwhelming to be patient, so I get lazy.
Christ have mercy.
Ever so slowly (and with painful intentionality), I’ve
started trying to open my 3am experience to the Holy Spirit and seek his
strength to love my little one. When I actually do it, it’s an amazing thing.
My hands transform into the gentle arms of Jesus. My chest becomes his bosom
for my little one to lay her head on. My voice speaks his words of comfort and
peace to her little heart.
That’s the good stuff.
But right now, it takes me getting to the end of my rope
to experience that. So I’m grateful for being the #4 dad. Because when I am,
beautiful things can happen.
Here’s to all the fathers out there! By God’s grace, may
we press on to be Dads-in-Real-Life.
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