I’m
convinced that each new stage of life ushers in abundant opportunities to
understand the Christian story at even deeper levels.
Marriage
certainly took me to school regarding selfless love, commitment, and sacrifice.
It’s taught me the virtues of kindness, gentleness, and openness and galvanized
the resolve I have for intentionally pursuing a safe and emotionally secure
space at home. These are lessons I continue to learn and re-learn (and
sometimes re-re-learn).
I’ve
learned the good of getting your hands dirty (literally) with the earth during
my landscaping days. It was then that I fell in love with caring for the earth
and bringing beauty and color to otherwise bleak, empty ground.
It
was in the crucible of four jobs, seminary education, marriage, and church
responsibilities that I learned the value of capitalizing on time for Kingdom
work.
However,
the newest stage of my life has afforded me opportunities for making sense of
the Christian story in far greater ways than any of the others.
Fatherhood.
It’s
the storybook role where you shape and mold a little person, but the truth is
they’re actually shaping you.
One
recent event proves this point.
A few
days ago, I gave my dear wife the day off. I sent her out the door after Naemi
went down for her morning nap and I was determined to pull off the best
daddy-daughter day in history. I planned out a super-sweet Chic-fil-a date and
some killer playtime – crawling included! I packed up the dad-approved diaper
bag and laid out Naemi’s coat and hat. I had previously made sure to transfer
the car-seat from the van into the backseat of my car. The veggie puree was in
the front pocket of the diaper bag ALONG WITH a spoon (learned my lesson
there!).
I was
ready.
It
was about this time that the little gal woke up.
So I
popped upstairs and retrieved her from her crib. I changed her diaper and
outfitted her with a clean bib (seriously this chic still drools like a troll).
I
started heading downstairs and then I realized that I had spent so much time
preparing Naemi’s things that I had forgotten to get myself dressed. Dad’s
boxers and a t-shirt were not the best apparel choice for such an epic
daddy-daughter date!
I
quickly turned around and headed back up the stairs and into the bedroom.
It
was at this point that I was faced with a decision:
Option A: Try to continue holding Naemi
and figure out a gymnastically unparalleled way to dress myself.
Option B: Set Naemi down for a moment and
brace for the impending protest.
I
decided to go with Option B.
The
aftermath was remarkable. Like clockwork she protested and cried and couldn’t
figure out in her little mind why I would ever do such a thing!
It
was the next words out of my mouth to her that profoundly impacted me.
I
said:
“Don’t be scared. I’m not going to leave you.”
I’m
not going to leave you.
I’m
not going to leave you.
Words
that I spoke in a quick attempt to comfort my little daughter, reflect the same
promise of the God revealed in Scripture.
“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Heb.
13:5)
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or
terrified…for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor
forsake you.” (Deut. 31:6)
The
Christmas season marks this truth with even more poignancy. Jesus Christ – the
Messiah sent from God – is Emmanuel (God with Us). He has forever joined
Himself to the human race with deep bonds of love.
Truly
He will never leave us.
He
has not abandoned us and He will never abandon us.
I
wish I could promise such faithfulness to my daughter. I wish I could tell her
that I will never fail her. I wish I could tell her that I’ll always be there
for her. While that will always remain my goal with her and all the other
children God blesses us with, I realize my own frailty and brokenness.
I’ll
certainly fail. But I set my eyes on the one who will never leave her and I
beseech Him for the grace and strength to care for her as deeply and
consistently as I can.
If
you’re wondering, the rest of the daddy-daughter date went fairly well. We
successfully went to Chic-fil-a. We successfully got back home and had some
playtime. We successfully (both!) went down for a nap.
I
realize that these moments with Naemi will be few. I won’t be able to hold her
darling little body in my arms forever. I won’t be able to sneak daddy-kisses
from her forever. I won’t be able to crawl around on the floor with her
forever.
BUT….
I
will always carry with me the lessons that Jesus is teaching me through her. Truly
her short 8.5 month life has helped me know Jesus even better than I did
before.
For
that I am eternally grateful.
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