People weren’t kidding
when they said that the first few weeks of parenthood were hard. Sleepless
nights coupled with the steep learning curve of a new baby combine into a dangerous
cocktail that pushes the limits of sanity. They call this (quite appropriately)
the “Fog”.
Trust me. It’s crazy.
Our little person is
just over 8 weeks now and I’m finally starting to reassemble my mental life.
Although, if you ask Judy, there is still a long way to go.
In the meantime, I’ve
stopped to reflect on some of the indelible glimpses of beauty that I’ve
experienced over the past few weeks. These are some things that (as a
dad/husband) have touched my heart.
1. Baby smiles
These are probably one
of the most precious gifts a new parent could ask for. They’re even better when
they come at 3:15am and the parent is exhausted from waking up every 2-3 hours.
Emi started giving us the most beautiful smiles a couple of weeks ago and
somehow they make the explosive bowel movements, crying, and weariness all the
more bearable.
2. The “new-car” scent
of a new family
Children are born, but
families are intentionally crafted. They are forged in the crucible of daily
life. I can’t help but notice the “newness” that is our family. Each day that
goes by we’re threading the realities of our stories together in new ways and
that is truly beautiful. At this point in our journey, we still have that
new-car smell and I think that’s just great. It indicates that we’ve (to push
the metaphor) driven off the lot and are down the road a couple of miles, but
that we’ve still got a lot of road ahead of us. More road = more possibilities.
More possibilities = more beauty.
3. A Mom and baby
One of the most
beautiful things to me is to see Judy and Naemi together. Whether they’re
nursing, snuggling, or just sitting together, their connection is an incredible
reality. Perhaps it’s the intangible love coursing between their physical
bodies or maybe it’s just the nature of the relationship between gentle
caregiver and helpless dependent. I’m not sure what it is exactly, but I know
that I like being around it. It seems to me that that is what beauty does. It
draws you to itself.
4. An inquisitive
little person
Naemi likes to be
held, but (at this point) she only likes to be held in a particular manner –
facing forward and sitting up. I think it’s wonderful to watch her little eyes
soaking up the surrounding world and seeing new things for the first time. In
fact, I think it’s beautiful. Then her head lilts to the side and drool starts
pouring out of the corner of her mouth and the sublimity of the moment is lost,
but her (albeit) brief moments of inquiry are striking and inspiring.
5. Baby trust
I don’t know about
you, but it’s been a long time since I’ve fallen asleep while being held in
someone’s arms. Perhaps that’s just a nasty side effect of my 6’ 2” frame. But
I can tell you for a fact that Naemi fell asleep in my arms just yesterday
morning. When I look down at her in my arms (which, by the way, are screaming
for mercy due to her 16.5 lb. body), I cannot help but sense her absolute trust
in me. She’s so comfortable and at peace that she’s able to fully entrust
herself to my care. That is a beautiful thing.
6. Blessings from our
priest
Judy and I worship at
an Anglican church. Part of the liturgy requires that we proceed to the front
in order to partake in the Eucharist. While I think this is a wonderful thing for a
number of reasons, it struck me that it’s really a beautiful thing for our
little family. Judy and I and Naemi get to proceed up to the front together as
a family and receive the good gifts of Christ’s blessing. This manifests in the
bread and wine for Judy and myself and the hand of a priest on Naemi blessing
her and praying for her.
I could keep going,
but I’ll stop there for now. Suffice it to say, I’m a blessed man and I’m
looking forward to the future with all the robust life experiences contained
therein.
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