These blogs cover everything from how to treat a woman, how to work hard at your job, how to fix your car, etc.
Especially in Christian circles, these blog-based exhortations tend to focus on the high moral calling appropriate to "being a man." I'm willing to bet that any Christian guy in his twenties or thirties can just about quote Matthew 5:28 (...not looking at a woman lustfully...), 1 Cor. 10:13 (...no temptation beyond what we can bear...), and 2 Peter 1:3 (...everything we need for life and godliness).
I'm also willing to bet that those same guys who know those verses wonder why they still have a difficult time battling the seemingly ever-present demon of lust. Didn't you pray really hard this morning not to be tempted? Why can't you seem to divert your eyes? After multiple cycles of transgression, repentance, commitment, and steely application of will, these same guys end up getting tired. Is moral purity really just about "man-ing up" to lust?
Unfortunately, the frustration doesn't stop there. Wherever you go, there always seems to be "that guy." I think you fellas know who I'm talking about. The one guy who always seems to have it all together. It's like they don't even know what sexual desire is. They seem to have attained some superhuman sexual equilibrium where all their thoughts all the time are completely pure.
Most of the exhausted guys I've met seem to react to "this guy" in one of two ways: 1) they try to befriend him in hope that his unusual nature might somehow rub off on them or 2) they get even more discouraged by how easy mental purity is for him and are tempted to just give up.
Well, in light of this, I thought I'd share a story with you. This story comes from the tradition of the Desert Fathers and I think sheds the most interesting light on the journey towards sexual purity.
Gentlemen, may God be gracious to you and strengthen you. May his peace fill your heart and may you be encouraged by this story. Meditate on it. Allow the Lord to use it to encourage you.
Ladies, I hope this story softens your heart to your man. Trust me, he loves you and wants to honor you. But retraining the soul is an often complicated task....and one that requires great mercy from God and time. So, pray for your guy. Your consistent, unconditional love can be one of the most transformative powers in his life.
And now.... the story:
"There was a certain brother who was most zealous in ordering his life. And when he was grievously troubled by the demon of sex he went to a certain old man and told him his thoughts. When this expert heard, he was indignant and called the brother a miserable wretch unworthy of the monk's habit to entertain such thoughts.
The brother, hearing this, despaired of himself, left his cell and began to go back to the world. But by the mercy of God, Abba Apollo met him, and seeing that he was upset and unhappy he asked him, "Brother, why so sad?"
In great confusion of mind he was at first unwilling to answer, but in the face of much questioning by the old man as to what the matter was he at last confessed, saying, "I am bothered by thoughts of sex, and I confessed to that old man and according to him there is no hope of salvation for me, so in despair I'm going back to the world."
When Father Apollo heard this he talked and reasoned with him like a wise physician, saying, "Don't be too dumbfounded, or despairing of yourself. Even at my age and state of life I can be greatly troubled by thoughts such as these. Don't collapse in this time of testing; it can be cured not so much by human advice as by the mercy of God. But just for today grant me one request: go back to your cell."
This the brother did.
Abba Apollo, however, hastened to the cell of that old man who had sown despair and, standing outside, prayed the Lord, "Lord, Who allows us to be tempted for our good, turn the battle which this brother has suffered against this old man, that in his old age he may learn from experience what he didn't learn long since: that you must have compassion on those who are troubled by this sort of temptation."
Having completed his prayer he saw an Ethiopian standing by the cell casting arrows against this old man, who, severely wounded, began to stagger about here and there as if drunk with wine. Unable to bear it any longer the old man rushed out of the cell and began to return to the world by the same road as the young brother had taken.
But Abba Apollo, knowing what was happening, met him, and running up to him asked, "Where are you going? And what is the reason for the agitated state you are in?"
But he, sensing that the holy man knew all about what was happening, could say nothing for very shame.
"Go back to your cell," said Abba Apollo, "and acknowledge your own weakness, recognise it as part of yourself. For either you have been overlooked by the devil up till now, or else despised as being so lacking in virtue as to be unworthy of striving against him. Did I say 'strive'? You weren't even able to put up with his attacks for a single day! But all this happened to you because when that young man was attacked by our common adversary, instead of giving him helpful advice against the devil as you ought, you drove him into despair, forgetful of that wise precept by which we are bidden to save those on a pathway towards death and neglect not to redeem the condemned. Nor have you heeded the sayings of our Saviour, 'A bruised reed he shall not break, and a smoking flax he shall not quench'. No one can withstand the attacks of the enemy, or quench and contain the fire of rebellious nature, unless the grace of God comes to the aid of our natural infirmity, which in all our prayer we beg God in his mercy to heal in us, and that He may turn away from us the attacks launched against us, for it is of Him that we are cast down and again restored to the way of salvation, it is He Who strikes and then heals us with His hands, He humbles and exalts, He kills and makes alive, He leads us down to the depths and raises us up again".
Having said this he prayed, and at once the old man was freed from that battle.
And Abba Apollo urged him to seek from the Lord a tongue of discretion, so that he might know when the time was right for giving a sermon."
(Vitae Patrum, Bk. 5, Verse 4)
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