The Will, Sin, and Desire

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re you tired of trying to not sin? I don’t know about you, but about five years ago I became really disenchanted with the idea that I could somehow will myself to stop sinning. I examined my own life and the lives of others around me and realized that my suspicions were confirmed: a person cannot will themselves to cease from sinning simply by force. No matter how much I tried to coerce myself, I found that there was no sustainability in beating myself up and “trying harder next time.”

Unfortunately, a lot of contemporary spirituality attempts to understand spiritual growth exactly through this method. What results is a bunch of discouraged Christians who don’t believe their lives can ever match the lofty imperatives of Scripture.  Not quite what it seems God has in mind, right?

Well, if this is you too, don’t be discouraged – it seems that there is an alternative way to envision the Christian spiritual life that, I think, matches more with the level of reality.  What follows are a few thoughts toward re-envisioning a manageable and comprehensive outline of Christian growth.

1) We are essentially affective beings.

            What does this mean? Well, it means that you, as a human being, are really a desiring being. Sure you are also rational, relational, etc. But at your core you desire things. You desire acceptance, recognition, love, that new dress at Forever21, that awesome-new-book-published-by-your-favorite-author-which-your-wife-says-won’t-fit-on-the-bookshelf, as well as a million other things.

2) Our desires dictate our actions.

            This is one of St. Augustine’s essential doctrines. Whatever we love (i.e. desire) we seek to obtain. No matter how much you cognitively know something is wrong, if you desire that thing, then you will grasp for it – often regardless of the cost.

3) Our Will follows our desire.

            This is the most important point! Whatever you truly desire, your will is going to try to actualize. If you truly desire to purchase that new dress, then your will is going to do everything it can to make that happen. If you really want that new book, then your will is going to do whatever it takes to obtain it. What we can deduce from this is not that there is a problem with our will. In fact, our will is functioning completely properly! The problem of sin lies not with the nature of the will, but squarely with our desires. Having disordered desires produces a disordered (sinful) reality.

           

4) Change happens at the level of desire.

            So, it seems that the most effective route of growth in the Christian life is not trying to force your will into submission, but attending to your malformed desires. As desires change, so does a persons life. How? Because our will acts on our desires. What we desire, we will.

5) Change requires awareness of desire.

            Unfortunately, many of us rush around life so fast that we have never stopped to think about what we truly desire.  What if our “quiet time” was actually quiet time where we sat and asked God to reveal to us the desires of our heart? What if it wasn’t so much “get through 3 chapters of Scripture and 5 minutes of prayer,” but times examining our deepest desires in light of Scripture to see where we are at?

6) Grace provides space to be aware of disordered desires.

            Some people might be afraid of what they will find if they are honest about their desires, but let me tell you something.  A life lived unaware of your deepest desires, no matter how twisted, is no life at all. Having received the forgiveness of God, you are no longer condemned (Romans 8:1). You no longer carry the guilt of wrong desires, so you can face them in confidence. Don’t forget, God is already aware of who you are at your core. He knows that you long for incorrect things. Additionally, he knows that you really need him. He is present to you and so willing to engage you at the level or disordered desire. I encourage you to let him! See his mercy. Experience his grace. Feel his love.

7) Disorder desires can be retrained.

            This is where the positive project begins. If the true issue with humanity is at the level of disordered desire, then the solution becomes, not fervid attempts to restrain an “out of control” will, but a calculated retraining of desires. We put off the old man (Col. 3) by being trained in what it means to desire properly.  There are in fact myriad ways in which our desires are retrained and delineating those here would be too great of a task. Suffice it to say, this seems to be the proper approach to the Christian life. For only through transformation of desire can a believer truly see lasting, sustainable change in their life.

I hope this model of retraining disordered desires imbues your Christian experience with new joy and energy! God is not down on you because of your brokenness.  He knows exactly where you are and he wants to train you in a different way – the Kingdom way. His methods are always gracious and always loving (if you doubt this, I encourage you to read through the Gospel accounts of Jesus’ interaction with penitent sinners). The first step is to openly examine your heart before God and ask him to reveal your disordered desires. Once you become aware of some of those, then look for creative ways of responding to God’s plan to reshape those desires.  Also, don’t be discouraged if this process takes some time. Faithfulness to the journey is key!